Well i've not been here in a long time...I feel like I have missed so much. I guess I just got burned out for awhile everyone goes through that. A lot has has happend since my last entry, i've moved, that being the biggest thing. I'm happy here, I do get a lil homesick from time to time, but moving was a big deal for me. I don't know why, I guess because I left the place where my life "began" what I mean by that is this. I was 12 years old when I moved there, I didn't know who I was, but I "grew" up there, so a little peice of me misses it...but I know I belong here for reasons better left unsaid. The worst part about it is I get so damn lonely, and i'm sure I get on my neighbors nerves...LoL Cheryl my best friend in the world moved in 2 weeks after I did. I love having her right next door...2 words...VACUUM CLEANER LOL...just kidding really. It's just great being neighbors with my best friend ever. It's nice, I enjoy it very much. I know she is happy here too, being so close to school. Damn I can not believe it is almost 4 a.m. I can't sleep tho, I've got a lot on my mind. Don't really know what to do...think i'm going to take a hot shower and go to bed...night night.
Feeling: needy

WOW---Cheryl and finished painting my room lastnight, there are some touch ups that have to be done and the trim has to be put up and I need carpet, but other than that it's livable!!! I love it. It will be better when we get the heating and air put in, but my lil window unit is throwing down. Its nice I love it. I haven't had this much privacy in a LONG time, I would say since I had my apartment. Its wonderful. That is all I thought about today, about how bad I wanted to come home and just sit in my room. I had something else on my mind, but I can't really say about the other thing. I'm kinda happy and kinda depressed right now. I don't really know how to explain it. I'm just in a weird mood. It's scary being up here all alone. Yeah I sleep better when it's really dark, but...it's too dark lol. I'm so happy about this room. I can't stop myself from looking around at everything. Ah!!! I'm gonna go...later all!!!
Feeling: In Between

WoW this week has been the longest of my life...Geez, I work 117 hours in 2 weeks. That is a lot for me. I'm not really all that tired, I have a cold...and well that sucks. Hopefully I will feel better by tomorrow, cause I have a busy day planned...Cheryl and I are going shopping, plus we are getting the paint for my room...YAY!!! I'm so excited about being able to use it. I have waited a lifetime it seems like to have a room like this. I'm so excited that is all i can think about. Im going to go cause im using my mom's computer and its all screwed up!!!
Feeling: excited

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get here and post, but lately with work my life is hell...on top of which trying to make time for those special people in my life, its hard....luckily I do not have kids...they would hate me right now. I have worked a lot and it's only fixing to get worse lol. This first week of School is a tough time for those of us employed at the schools. So far we only have 10 Schools in this district, and 3 of those are mine, now this time next year I could have double or triple that. Depending on if we pick up the other 15 contracts. By that point I will be making Great money...lol but if I were to be over say 9 schools, when in the world would I have time to spend it??? lol!!!

Cheryl thank you so much for the new layout, I love it. And i'm sorry that i am just now posting in it, but you know what this past week has been like for me...HELL hopefully after this week things will go back to normal, if they would only slow down for a minute and let me catch my breath, we might be ok lol. Work, work, work!!! But i'm out to get ready for bed, its almost 11 now..ugh! Goodnight world.

Whew, well I have been up since 5:30ish this morning. My grandmother is in the hopital in Arkansas, she had a second surgery today, to remove a cancerous bone in her jaw. Her surgery was at 9:15 this morning, but they took her back early, so we didn't get to see her before she went in...which was very bothersome. At about noon, they brought her out of recovery...when we got out in the hallway so they could bring her back in her room, it was...devastating...it looks like someone walked up behind her and slit her throat from ear to ear...she started crying when she saw how many people were there supporting her, so naturally everyone started crying, and the hardest part was watching my brother and my grandfather crying. You don't really realize how much someone means to you until you see them suffering. Just standing there holding her hand and sheading tears with her...me and my grandmother bonded for the first time in my life. She apologized for all the times she was mean to me when I was younger, and I apologized to her for not coming and visiting her more. It was just a day full of tears and lots of laugher...my grandmother is a hoot. LoL the nurse was explaining to her that she has a morphine drip and at any point that she starts hurting, she needs to push that lil button beside her hand...the entire time the nurse is telling her this, my grandma was sitting there swinging the cord back and forth in her hand...when the nurse was finished with the details, my grandma simply said..." you all are trying to turn me into a dope head..." and without missing a beat my grandma got this MEAN look in her eyes, and pushed the little button and smiled...it was funny. We all knew she was going to punch that nurse out. It was just a hard thing to see. She is going to have to do radiation and chemo I was talking to her about that...and she is terrified that she is going to lose all of her hair, and its likely that she will, so I promised her that we would get her a wig...and then she started crying again...It hurt...it hurt so bad...I need to go, I don't feel so good.